Bread From the Holy Land

I would like to spend time in Israel someday out of respect to the holiness of the land and what it has represented to man throughout history, and also out of a sense of adventure. I admire people that live in the Middle East, Jew, Christian, and Muslim. That land requires a lot of faith and courage.

The Human Resources Manager tells the story of one man, living and working at the largest bakery in Jerusalem. He is unnamed, and known only by the roles that he plays, HR boss, father, and estranged husband. A suicide bombing takes place and one of his employees is killed. She is a foreigner, and her body had been lying in the morgue unclaimed for days.

When a journalist reports on the situation as a human rights abuse, it falls on the human resource manager to make good on the bakery’s behalf. This means tracking down the dead woman’s family, transporting the body, and realizing their wishes for it.

Most of the scenes in the film have very interesting backgrounds. The night drive around Jerusalem was cool, from the twinkling lights in the hills, to the random a-- police checkpoint along the way. The police men pull people over just to look inside their cars over there. Something to think about.

The second half of the movie has an army bunker and a loaned six-wheeled armored vehicle and the Romanian countryside as the background. That was pretty cool.

Something happened that was very unfortunate at my Monday screening of the film at the Living Room Theaters. In a scene where the protagonist is receiving instructions from his boss concerning burial arrangements, the subtitles go away. For about three minutes, I witnessed a conversation in Hebrew without translation. It wasn’t fun and I lost crucial information from the movie. It took me almost to the end to realize the setting had changed to Romania.

While I'm on the subject of subtitles, I have a problem with featuring three or more languages in one film without distinguishing which language was spoken in the subtitles. I would have liked brackets enclosing the language being spoken under the translations. It was hard to distinguish when the characters (most of whom spoke two or more languages in the film) understood each other without guidance. Sadly, I can’t tell the difference between Romanian and Hebrew.

I guess I have to blame the distributor, but I realize the limitations in distributing a film to a worldwide audience from outside of the Hollywood system (According to the end credits, this film was at least partially funded by the Israel Film Fund.)

The Human Resources Manager was Israel’s bid for best foreign film in this year’s Academy Awards. I give the film a B-. The locations are outstanding. The story is simple but full of quirky twists and the level of production was very high. I enjoyed it.

The Teenagers Explode

Kaboom is a weird movie. It is unconcerned with traditional cinematic storytelling. With a punk rock/post-modern energy, it deconstructs the average teenager film into some crazy, hypersexual, apocalyptic hallucination. The results are a lot less cool than they sound, and for all of the effort my mind was not blown.

Smith (Thomas Dekker) is a broody 18 year old college student experiencing a sexual awakening. Not burdened by shyness, Smith does it with both boys and girls. He has a lippy best friend named Stella (Haley Bennett) and a bimbo roommate named Thor (Chris Zylka.) They talk in pop-culture references, go to parties, and obsess about blowjobs and clit stimulation. Nothing too strange about that.

The weirdness begins in Smith’s dreams, but soon his dreams start bleeding into his real life. One night he thinks he witnesses a murder, only the perpetrators are men in black suits and animal masks. Smith follows the trail, doubting his own sanity, and encounters mysterious characters connected to a dangerous cult. The crazy doesn’t stop there. Oh no.

See Stella is dating a witch with supernatural powers, which would be a good thing if the girl wasn’t so clingy. Breaking up means piercing voodoo doll headaches and demonic possession. The psycho lesbian isn’t the only one with supernatural powers, and Smith must race to uncover the truth about the strangeness around him before the conspiracy threatens to destroy everyone he cares about.

I don’t think the connection has been made yet, but I noticed a lot of similarities between the cult depicted in the film and the infamous Family International cult founded in the 1960’s by sick f--- David Berg. Secrecy, extreme sexual freedom, the supernatural, prophecy, child abuse/abduction, end time theories and incest were all institutionalized by Berg and The Family.

Ricky Rodriguez was born into the cult, raised as the heir to Berg and idolized by all other members. Grown, he helped bring to light all of The Family’s abuses, and sadly, took his own life. His story was depicted in an MSNBC special and it really affected me.

If writer/director Gregg Araki purposefully wove a fictionalized version of The Family cult into Kaboom, he failed in providing the average viewer with a significant tell. Either way, I believe the real-life story is too important not to mention in this review.

Aside from the possibility of a meaningful analogy, the film offers little in the way of a cohesive, relatable story. Instead, it places all its bets on a distinct visual style and quirky teenage dialogue, my favorite line being, “Dude, it’s a vagina, not a bowl of spaghetti.”

The characters are always dressed in Skittle rainbow colors and washed by golden light in daytime and blue tones at night. There are also lots of hazy dream sequences and pointless transition effects between scenes. Visual effects are used liberally depicting supernatural powers, and are pretty cheesy in my opinion.

Donnie Darko pulled off a similar aesthetic and story back in 2001, but this film is no Donnie Darko.

I do think Kaboom was a worthwhile movie to make. It pushes the boundaries of traditional film making with distinctive writing and visuals. Unfortunately, it is mostly a case of style over substance. There were a few interesting moments, but I doubt most viewers will leave the theater happy. The term, “noble failure” comes to mind. I give Kaboom a D+.

Revolting. Ugly. Nauseating. Shameless.

I know about South Korea because I studied Tae Kwan Do back in the day when I was a little guy. I think I could still break brittle little pieces of wood using only the power of the entire weight of my body. The BBC knows more about South Korea than I do. It is currently the 13th largest economy in the world and growing.

The level of swag displayed in The Housemaid was on a level I have not seen in a long time. I was blown away with the lives of the rich South Koreans depicted in this film.

The protagonist is a working class girl (Jeon Do-yeon,) who is hired to work for a wealthy family. They live in a palace. The servants, wife and child, line up every morning to see the man of the house (Lee Jung-jae) off to work. He plays classical piano and drinks fine wine. The elegance of this man’s hair is surpassed only by his wardrobe. Swag.

The guy has everything anyone could ever want. His family is gorgeous, his wife is hot and puts out, and he is crazy rich. Why would he want to risk it all to play doctor with the nanny? Why not? This man was born getting everything he wants.

The sex scenes in this film are really stylish and intense. There is a really funny sequence that reminds me of a scene in American Psycho, where the rich dude drops a classic sex move. While receiving oral pleasure, he puts his hands up and starts flexing his biceps in front of a window. Hilarious.

Men are pathetic in that they can’t help but work out power issues in bed. I’m sorry that women have to be on the other side of that.

The plot in The Housemaid is very simple, as the working-class girl gets in way over her head. Park Ji-young provides a memorable performance as the evil mother-in-law. “With a rich husband, cheating is part of the package,” she says to her daughter. Soon after, she is plotting murder.

The climax takes the crazy to full Ron Artest Malice at the Palace levels. The final act of revenge is shocking, but definitely set up well by the story.

This movie works not because it has a complex plot, but because writer/director Im Sang-soo has great attention to detail. There is also worthwhile social commentary in the film, covering class divisions, sex and the modern family. I give The Housemaid an A-.

Cold as a Whore's Heart

I have to give props right now to the peoples behind the Living Room Theaters for their schedule of movies. They have been nothing but consistent with selecting interesting, off-the-radar films for screening. Looking for Palladin is a rare slip for them.

The premise of the movie is straightforward. Hollywood agent Joshua Ross (David Moscow) is sent on a mission to Antigua, Guatemala in order to coax legendary actor, Jack Palladin (Ben Gazzara,) back to work. Ross finds himself broke, and at the mercy of the town’s inhabitants who distrust him as the phony with the blue-tooth ear piece and fake Gucci loafers.

The film looks low-budget, but that may have to do with the challenges involved in shooting on location in Central America. The setting is actually the movie’s most endearing quality. The town of Antigua is representative of a lot of small Latin communities with its pretty cobble-stone streets and color-washed historical buildings organized around a main square. Filmmaker Andrej Krakowski made a very cool decision in shooting his movie there.

Location aside, the story is messy with loose and dead ends. Gazzara’s Palladin is surrounded by a glut of side characters that are hastily introduced and awkwardly utilized. They do little to move the plot forward or provide background information. A few of those characters, like the pasty American writer, are especially painful to watch.

Worse is the lead character, Hollywood agent Joshua Ross. Ross personifies every ugly “gringo” stereotype imaginable and looks especially ridiculous acting out high-stakes industry phone conversations while sitting next to a local holding a live chicken. I understand the need to demonstrate the character’s growth as the film progresses, but I thought the early scenes were rendered too over-the-top.

White people are a--holes, there is no doubt about that, and I appreciate Krakowski’s enthusiasm for the idea. Still, I can’t front. No white person is that obnoxious.

At 115 minutes, the movie is mad slow in its buildup and lacking in a payoff. By the time Ross found Palladin in order to offer him the Hollywood role, I was no longer interested in his answer. In the end, it didn’t make much difference. I give Looking for Palladin a D+.

I appreciate what this film was trying to do. I hope this is among the first of many movies shot in Guatemala. I know there are better stories to be told there.

Coming of Age in Connecticut

I’ll never be able to stand death or cope with it. I could watch a thousand movies where characters learn and grow to accept it and never be satisfied. Harvest is among the stronger attempts I’ve seen to reconcile the two difficult subjects of family and loss.

The film follows three generations of a family in shoreline Connecticut, spending their last summer together before the death of the patriarch, Grandpa Siv (Robert Loggia.) There is Feng Shui and Yoga mother (Victoria Clark,) joined by her pot-belly-garbage-golfer-never-been-married brother (Arye Gross,) and her college student son (Jack Carpenter,) taking care of grandpa and grandma. Grandma is a movie all by herself, suffering from dementia, she sweeps the grass and likes to throw cookies in the air.

The writing and acting around the characters are both outstanding. The movie is seen largely through the perspective of the youngest, and Carpenter is steady throughout as Josh. He is realistic in scenes where he acts his age (wanting to escape yelling “It’s too f---ing boring!,”) as well as scenes where he acts wise beyond his years.

I loved the scene where young Josh became angry at his mother, talking “I’m destined to be alone. It’s like it’s in our genes or something.” I can definitely relate to that fear. Most relationships end before the people in them do.

I also loved Robert Loggia in his portrayal of Siv, a man succumbing to pancreatic cancer. His big scene involved a beautiful bike ride around his coastline small town, where people play Bocce ball on their lawns and line Main Street for the annual parade. At 80 plus and dying of cancer, he rides across the entire town to speak with his sister for five minutes. Peaceful moment aside, the film also addresses Siv’s failures and regrets. All of the characters have complicated pasts.

The final deathbed scene is extremely powerful and I couldn’t help but think of my own grandparents while watching it. I think most people that have gone through similar experiences can recognize the realism in the dialogue and acting here. Writer/Director Marc Meyers is truly gifted.

I give Harvest an A-. It had memorable lines, scenes and characters. There are no weak links in the ensemble cast. Maybe there were a few familiar aspects to the story, the undocumented saucy Latina housekeeper perhaps, that veered a little close to cliché but the story overall was very sweet and thoughtful.

The Hairdresser Rock Star

Can a hairdresser change the world? It sounds like a stretch to suggest it, but the idea is the central premise in Vidal Sassoon: The Movie. I watched the documentary and can almost co-sign on Sassoon’s behalf. He was the Kobe Bryant of his profession, the greatest, most determined of his time.

I didn’t know who the man was before this movie and I think that is why the opening sequence was such a turn off for me. There he is, legendary Vidal Sassoon, looking like a baller at 80 years old, strutting across a bridge fashionable with his skinny trousers, leather jacket and scarf. He is shot in slow motion and in black and white while anonymous voices make hyperbolic statements about his career and legacy.

I wanted to hate on him right there, but I never got a chance. It turns out that Vidal Sassoon is the truth, a self-made man who worked hard to develop his own style and revolutionize his profession in the process. Basically, he changed the hairdressing game. He created new styles and methods, then he created the modern salon, then he created a salon school, then he created a visionary product line, and he hasn’t stopped since.

Along the way, he was also a brilliant spokesperson for his salons, products and industry. Vidal Sassoon: The Movie was actually produced by the head of a hair products company and former hair dresser, Michael Gordon. Gordon also produced a book about his hero to go with the movie. This might explain the obvious effort by the film to push Sassoon’s legend.

Still, the documentary has a lot of evidence to back up their boy, utilizing archival footage, period magazine spreads and newspaper articles, and present-day interviews. I especially liked watching footage from when Sassoon was at his creative peak in the 1960’s. Before him, women’s hair was always big and stiff from heavy product use. After him, it was short, free from product and shaped and angled asymmetrically to fit the face.

It was impressive to see Sassoon in action, selling his revolutionary ideas to the girls in his chair and chopping their long hair off. I am trying to sell my girlfriend on getting one of his creations right now, the five point cut, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen. The short hair styles look retro cool and European, and were featured in cool movies and magazines. I can understand the film’s assertion that his ideas influenced the culture of the day.

It was also nice that Sassoon himself took the time to share his story. Unlike greats in other professions, he is generous with the credit and secrets to his success. His voice sounds especially rich through the Living Room Theaters speakers. Sassoon has lived an epic life, from poor boy living in an orphanage, to serving as a messenger during World War II and as an enlisted soldier during the foundation of the state of Israel, to hairdresser rock star and business mogul.

Vidal Sassoon: The Movie is a great story and I give it a B+. It is a little biased, but produced very seriously and professionally.

The filmmakers were able to craft a complex story of Vidal Sassoon the man, provide historical context, and finally convince the viewer of his far-reaching impact. The photographs and footage were very strong. You can’t argue with the evidence in a closing segment, as the filmmakers provide photographs of models from Paris fashion week 2010 walking down a runway. They are rocking Sassoon’s five point cut, fresh and exciting as ever.

Everyday People

I have a great admiration for family men. I’m talking about daddies that handle their business, the ones that deserve the big piece of chicken. I don’t have a wife and children of my own, yet, but I imagine it is hard. In Every Day, a father struggles to maintain his family as he is tested by hardship after hardship.

Ned (Wolverine’s Liev Schreiber,) is a writer for a TV show that requires him to write incest and drug-fueled accidents into his plots. He is frustrated as his boss and co-workers push him toward deeper and deeper lows. There is no relief at home when Ned’s wife (Helen Hunt) agrees to take care of her dying father. Also, his eldest son is gay and wants to go to gay prom. Life is hectic to say the least.

It gets crazier when you add smoking hot actress Carla Gugino to the mix, as Ned’s new writing partner. You’ve seen her in shows like Entourage and you already know how sexy she is. Here, she is soaking wet in her black thong bikini, brainstorming scandalous turns of plot with Ned, as they float in her private pool. I’m not sure how many of us men would say no to those lips, Gugino is perfect as the sophisticated temptress.

The interaction between Ned and his teenage son is another highlight in the film. Schreiber is realistic in his uneasiness over his son’s sexuality. In one scene, he is worried about the message his son is sending older boys with his sleeveless shirt and tight jeans, and in the other he is consoling him after a bad night with a reassurance that he will find the boy of his dreams. I think these are very progressive scenes. They are also very sweet.

The father-in-law (played by Brian Dennehy) is one of the weaker characters in the film. I understand that his arrival drives the plot, but there is something about his deathbed alcoholic story that is very stale to me. Writer/Director Richard Levine could have been more subtle here, giving Dennehy’s character an original wrinkle or two.

I give Every Day a C+. It was well-written and acted, if not entirely fresh and original. It was also a little bit disconcerting. Life is hard and it makes me wonder if I will be able to man up and be deserving of the big piece of chicken someday.

Old School Cool in North by Northwest

The Living Room theaters show throwback films from time to time. A couple of weeks ago they had Casablanca, and right now they have North by Northwest. Premiering in 1959, North by Northwest is considered a classic. I saw the old-timey movie and liked it.

The film was directed by legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock, using a script by Ernest Lehmen. Spies selling American secrets have picked up carefree ad executive Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) who they have mistaken for a government agent on their tail. They try to murder him, then they frame him for murder, then they try to murder him again. If you’ve seen a thriller in the last 60 years, the plot is going to sound familiar to you. Along the way Thornhill meets a dangerous blonde (Eva Marie Saint) and uncovers the global conspiracy.

Some of the big scenes hold up well today. About halfway into the movie, an assassin tries to kill Thornhill, only he does it in the most ridiculous way possible, by stalking him in an open field with a biplane. The premise is completely stupid, but the shots are composed really well by Hitchcock. The director sells you on the fear coursing through Thornhill as he runs for his life and a plane gets larger and larger over his shoulder.

The special effects may have been cutting edge in those days, but are silly now. For car chases, the film uses stationary cars in front of projection screens, and when the chases end the collisions are low-speed and cause wimpy explosions. My favorite scene has nothing to do with special effects. Here, Hitchcock creates a sense of terror by utilizing a well tossed book of matches.

I’m taking a minute to acknowledge the coolness of Cary Grant. By today’s standards he is too old and too lean, but I don’t think people got big in those days. Grant is just a little bit taller, tanner and smoother than the other guys in the film. Dude wears one suit the entire movie, rocking the grey on grey. He makes it work and I want me one of those.

When he is seducing his blonde, Grant delivers all kinds of sexual innuendo that must have pushed the boundaries of decency back then. This is hot stuff, and set before free love and the 1960’s. The girl is saying all the right things and I’m thinking they are about to do nasty things in their train cabin, until, the dialogue suddenly whips around to marriage and the man sleeping on the floor. Ridiculous. I would have thrown that lady off the train right there for playing around too much.

“How does a girl like you grow up to be a girl like you?” Thornhill asks his blonde. Too funny, man. I’m going to try to drop that one next time I’m trying to seduce my blonde.

I have to give props to Hitchcock and his team for coming hard with something so polished and influential. I can see why it is considered a classic, mostly because the filmmaking is so bold for its time. Everything is big here, the musical score, the twists in the plot, the dialogue, the love scenes and the special effect scenes. Unfortunately, movies have evolved substantially since 1959. North by Northwest holds up, but isn’t very jaw-dropping by today’s standards. I give it a B-.