Cold as a Whore's Heart

I have to give props right now to the peoples behind the Living Room Theaters for their schedule of movies. They have been nothing but consistent with selecting interesting, off-the-radar films for screening. Looking for Palladin is a rare slip for them.

The premise of the movie is straightforward. Hollywood agent Joshua Ross (David Moscow) is sent on a mission to Antigua, Guatemala in order to coax legendary actor, Jack Palladin (Ben Gazzara,) back to work. Ross finds himself broke, and at the mercy of the town’s inhabitants who distrust him as the phony with the blue-tooth ear piece and fake Gucci loafers.

The film looks low-budget, but that may have to do with the challenges involved in shooting on location in Central America. The setting is actually the movie’s most endearing quality. The town of Antigua is representative of a lot of small Latin communities with its pretty cobble-stone streets and color-washed historical buildings organized around a main square. Filmmaker Andrej Krakowski made a very cool decision in shooting his movie there.

Location aside, the story is messy with loose and dead ends. Gazzara’s Palladin is surrounded by a glut of side characters that are hastily introduced and awkwardly utilized. They do little to move the plot forward or provide background information. A few of those characters, like the pasty American writer, are especially painful to watch.

Worse is the lead character, Hollywood agent Joshua Ross. Ross personifies every ugly “gringo” stereotype imaginable and looks especially ridiculous acting out high-stakes industry phone conversations while sitting next to a local holding a live chicken. I understand the need to demonstrate the character’s growth as the film progresses, but I thought the early scenes were rendered too over-the-top.

White people are a--holes, there is no doubt about that, and I appreciate Krakowski’s enthusiasm for the idea. Still, I can’t front. No white person is that obnoxious.

At 115 minutes, the movie is mad slow in its buildup and lacking in a payoff. By the time Ross found Palladin in order to offer him the Hollywood role, I was no longer interested in his answer. In the end, it didn’t make much difference. I give Looking for Palladin a D+.

I appreciate what this film was trying to do. I hope this is among the first of many movies shot in Guatemala. I know there are better stories to be told there.